Where Ever You Go
by absolutelyaddison
Summary: He was now standing directly in front of the desk, his blue eyes piercing her green ones."We're not married anymore, Derek. I don't have to tell you everything I do."Addek when Derek find outs Addison is moving to LA


Let's start over.  
I'll try to do it right this time around.  
It's not over.  
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.  
This love is killing me,  
But you're the only one.  
It's not over.

"You're leaving Seattle."

She looked up from her chart to see him leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to tell him that she was leaving because it would be too painful for her to finally realize that it was over. She took off her glasses and sat back in her chair.

"Derek…"

"Were you just going to leave?" He walked further into the office, closing the door behind him. "Were you not going to tell me?" He was now standing directly in front of the desk, his blue eyes piercing her green ones. She looked down to avoid his gaze.

"We're not married anymore, Derek. I don't have to tell you everything I do."

He nodded as he sat down in the chair in front of her desk and forcefully said, "True, but I would still like to know when you plan to move across the country."

Her head whipped up, fire in her eyes. Awareness came over his face of what he said as soon as the words left his mouth.

"_You_ would like to know when _I_ move across the country? Seriously, Derek! Did you seriously just say that?" She stood up in anger. "I can't believe you just said that." She walked around her desk and past the chair that he was sitting in. She was pacing back and forth. He knew that was a for sure sign that she was angry.

"Addison, I…"

She held up her hand.

"No. Don't speak." She paused for a second, both hands on her hips. "_You_ want me to tell _you_ when I leave Seattle? Did you tell me when _you_ left New York? Did you? No. So, why should I tell you when I leave Seattle? See, this is exactly why I didn't tell you."

He stood up and walked over to her.

"If you had told me right off that you were leaving, then we wouldn't be here."

"No, Derek." A soft smirk formed on her face as she tried to hold back the tears that were determined to come. "I didn't want to tell you because it brings up all of the past that I just wish I could forget. I hate thinking about New York and everything that happened between us. It tears me up inside to think about what I did to you. If I could go back I would change everything. I would make sure that we were still together. I wouldn't let anything come between us." She stopped and dabbed at the mascara that was running beneath her eyes. "I tried to tell you. So many times I tried to tell you. But I couldn't do it. I would open my mouth but the words wouldn't come out. It was like I was frozen. I tried, but it was too painful for me to tell you that I was leaving."

"Why? Why would it be painful for you to tell me that you are leaving?"

"Just…nothing. You know, it's nothing. Now you know, so, let's just forget about it for now. Okay?" She turned and started walking back towards her desk.

He grabbed her arm and spun her around towards him.

"No. Tell me why it would be painful for you to tell me you were leaving?"

She looked into his eyes and the tears in her own started falling. He brought both hands to rest on the side of her cheeks and used his thumbs to brush away the tears.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me."

She looked down and then up again and inhaled sharply before hurriedly saying, "Because I still love you. And if I told you, I would finally have to accept that we are over."

His hands dropped from her face like weights. Her hands flew to her mouth and her eyes closed as she took two steps back. She couldn't believe she just admitted that. She was supposed to be over him. She was supposed to be moving on just like he was. Now she just seems pathetic. She feels his eyes on her and she can't take it. She turns and walks swiftly towards the door.

"Addie."

With her hand on the doorknob, she didn't turn around, but she did stop because of the weakness in his voice. Unexpectedly, she could feel his presence behind her. His arms hovered in the air for a second while he contemplated exactly what he was doing.

Suddenly, she felt his right arm wrap around her waist as his left hand removed her hand from the doorknob and wrapped both of their arms around her waist. Her body stiffened, she was waiting for him to let go, she was waiting for him to leave, she was waiting to wake up from this dream, but she didn't. He didn't speak until he felt her relax into him.

He took a deep breath and whispered, "It's not over. We, we can try to do it right this time around. We've got to. We've got to try to do it right this time, because Addison, you can't leave. Whenever you are gone, apart of me is gone. Whenever you aren't here, I feel like I'm dead. This love is killing me, but you're the only one." He turned her around and pulled her body close to his. He held her head in his hands and leaned in towards her lips. Before he brushed his lips against hers he said, "It's not over."


End file.
